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Posts Tagged ‘japanese date

Romance meter: 34%
Conclusion: Japanese men don’t know how to impress women on a date. They can pull off a compliment or two but cannot behave in a smooth, confident way to melt a woman’s heart. Chivalry is DEAD in Japan, what they want is a mother and a wife, not a lover or a partner.

Genre: dinner date
Show time: February Saturday 7:30 pm
Running time: 120 min
MPAA rating: PG
Cast: me and investment banker boy


“Investment banker boy” was dancing alone in a dance floor when we first met. I noticed he kept starring at me but, as usual, seemed to have no guts to come talk to a woman, so I asked for the time and then soon after, he bought me drinks and asked me out on dinner. One month later, he called me to ask me out on dinner and we decided to go to an area in my neighborhood that he had not visited yet. He called me three times after that, to confirm the time and place of our meeting.

We met in the station, both bit nervous to meet each other after 1.5 months but I politely talked about the cold weather of Tokyo in February. And as we walked out the station, he started to tremble from the cold weather. We kept walking, with him complaining about the weather, and went to one of my favorite brasserie for oden (Japanese winter dish). We started the dinner with beer and after we decided on the appetizer, we gave a polite little toast with him looking at the chopsticks. (again! please look at Tokyo date report #1: Yurakucho boy)

As the food was getting served, our conversation flew from his work (which is usually the first thing Japanese men want to talk about), his tennis lesson, manga books and PS games. Luckily, I am quite knowledgeable regarding manga books and games Japanese men like, thanks to otaku friends I had back in the college in the US. So we talked a lot about which manga is interesting, what games are good, and we talked about Hollywood making movies based on Japanese manga, like Dragon balls and Death Notes.

It was around then I started to realize he has developed some rash on his neck, from the 1 glass of beer he had drunk. At the time, I had already finished my 2nd glass of beer and was wondering if it would be polite for me to order another one… So I decided to say, “You know, you have developed some rash on your neck, are you ok?” and he told me “yeah, I’m kind of not handling alchol so well today, I’ve had horrible hangover.” and since it was Saturday night, “Oh, you must had crazy Friday night!” and to my surprise, he say “oh no, I was staying home lastnight, I had the hangover 2 weeks ago, not yesterday! you silly!” …. and I lost my guts to order my 3rd beer or to tell him that I’ve had a crazy Friday night and had woken up with horrible hangover myself lol

But it was during the walk to the next cafe that I decided that I do indeed need a drink, and perhaps a smoke. For the whole entire 3 min walk, he kept saying how cold he is, jumping up and down, and running into stores here and there to escape the blowing wind. Let me remind you once again, this is in Tokyo and we have 35°F even in the February night. Even if it is cold, shouldn’t it be the other way around? Shouldn’t he be asking me if I’m cold? Shouldn’t he be putting his arm around my shoulder to keep me warm?

The date was going down the hill from here on. He had a tea, and I had a cocktail, and he talked about movies, manga, and games and I listened with a smile on… until he put his head on my shoulder and said “I get so sleepy when I drink, I wish I could just sleep here….” So… that’s why I concluded this night “Chivalry is DEAD in Tokyo”


Coming from a country side of Japan, and having 2 older sisters to babysit him, his attitude was rather meek and docile throughout the date. If anything, he made me feel like a man… He kept whining about the winter weather and how cold it is, he wanted to take a cab to go to a bar nearby, he gets all red after 1 beer, he doesn’t smoke, his legs are skinner than mine, he gets sleepy after 1 drink and he tells me that with his head on my shoulder… uggggh

Japanese men don’t even try to impress women on dates. Though there are so many rules out there for women to follow to comfortably welcome men into their lives, men don’t even try to woo a woman. At least, be a man, when you go on a date, then I should have some respect for them. Am I being too harsh?


Tonight was the first time I felt that I could no longer fight against the gravity and stand. I literally fell onto the floor when I returned home, out of dissapointment and out of pure sadness that 1 date had ruined what could have been a fabulous Friday night. Friday night is a luxury you only get one in a 7 days, and to have that ruined by a boy I spent 2-3 hrs with… no more first dates will be scheduled on Friday night, I swear!

Here’s a new rule for me: don’t ever schedule first date on a Friday night

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What is Tokyo Meet Market?

From the Western perspective, what goes on in the Japanese dating scene is really different and interesting! In this shy nation of Japan, meeting new people is almost institutionalized, dating and romance is littered with conventions that protect people from social awkwardness. What are dating conventions and rules in Japan? How do the shy Japanese people meet new people, develop affection, and express their passion? As I research and answer these question, I will write a real time report of what's going on in the Tokyo dating scene, or the "Tokyo Meet Market" here in this blog. I hope you enjoy my blog and a trip around Tokyo Meet Market with me!

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