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Romance meter: 65%
Conclusion: This turned out to be the most decent date in my Tokyo Meet Market experience, probably because it was a double date of “successfully matched couples” and because we shared experience of surviving Monday night omiai party. As in the case with gokon, Japanese people seem to perform better when in group than as individuals. Perhaps that’s why gokon is preferred to Western style one-to-one blind date, and group dating is preferred to one-to-one date.

Genre: dinner double date following konkatsu party
Show time: Monday 9:30pm-
Running time: 90 min
MPAA rating: PG
Cast: my friend and I, #4 and #5 from konkatsu party

Synopsis:

(continued from Konkatsu party frenziness)

“Congratulations!!! Tonight we have 13 matched couple” the match maker shouted with happiness and excitement! “I will announce the paired numbers and the guys will leave the building and please wait for your partner downstairs. And here we go, the first pair is…”  it was my friend and #4, and me and #5…

We left the Mariage company office and the two guys were standing in front of the door waiting for us. They smiled shyly and one of them said “haha… so we were successfully matched, this is nice, we were quite surprised, didn’t think this kind of things work. Anyways, it was so dry in the room and we are so thirsty, do you want to go for drink with us?”

So we went along to an izakaya near by and toasted to our fateful encounter. And I must say, it was a nice comfortable dinner full of interesting conversation. It was unusual date… in a way it was similar to gokon in a way we were dining with complete strangers trying to get to know eachother, but it was also similar to a normal double date, at the same time there was mutual mixed feeling of awkward embarassment (from how we met eachother in a matchmaking party), excitement (how we were successfuly matched), and hope (that this might turn out to be something in the future). And our conversation flourished around them.

After the toast, we, again, exchanged our profile card just as a reminder of who it was that we were matched to. We picked up the conversation from the profile card once again, but this time, more casual and relaxed. We asked eachother more personal questions than during the speed dating to get to know eachother. We shared our experience and review on the speed dating, since it was first time experience for 3 of us. We again expressed how surprised we were to have been matched and how surprisingly natural to have double dinner with the matched partners. The conversation was mostly between the matched couples, but at times, when one couple runs out of things to say, then the four of us would converse together. There seems to be mutual support among the four of us to take things forward from quite embarassing encounter in a matchmaking party.

At the end of the dinner, there was exchange of  contact information between the matched couples and we parted our ways with casual promise to get together in the future. Within 1 hour after good byes, both #4 and #5 texted to their matched partner thanking us for a wonderful night, and hoping to see us soon for double date to enjoy summer fun together. “hmmm… this is how serious these guys are when they actually pay $60 to meet women….” my friend and I nodded convinced of the dedication and seriousness of the konkatsu activist guys.

Review:

Konkatsu activist guys are serious about finding partners. Don’t play with them, they are serious. As much as they treat us nicely though, I wonder…. if they are treating us nicely because they like us, I mean from the bottom of their heart they feel some attraction, anything, even lust … or do they just treat us well because we are women, their potential housewives in the future… funny I never asked myself this question, but I have asked myself similar one: is he nice to me because he likes me or does he just want to sleep with me? Well I guess with the konkatsu guys, it’s more of  “does he just want to marry me?” LoL that’s new!

Smurfs_TV_Show_Wooing_Smurfs

Romance meter: 34%
Conclusion: Japanese men don’t know how to impress women on a date. They can pull off a compliment or two but cannot behave in a smooth, confident way to melt a woman’s heart. Chivalry is DEAD in Japan, what they want is a mother and a wife, not a lover or a partner.

Genre: dinner date
Show time: February Saturday 7:30 pm
Running time: 120 min
MPAA rating: PG
Cast: me and investment banker boy

Synopsis:

“Investment banker boy” was dancing alone in a dance floor when we first met. I noticed he kept starring at me but, as usual, seemed to have no guts to come talk to a woman, so I asked for the time and then soon after, he bought me drinks and asked me out on dinner. One month later, he called me to ask me out on dinner and we decided to go to an area in my neighborhood that he had not visited yet. He called me three times after that, to confirm the time and place of our meeting.

We met in the station, both bit nervous to meet each other after 1.5 months but I politely talked about the cold weather of Tokyo in February. And as we walked out the station, he started to tremble from the cold weather. We kept walking, with him complaining about the weather, and went to one of my favorite brasserie for oden (Japanese winter dish). We started the dinner with beer and after we decided on the appetizer, we gave a polite little toast with him looking at the chopsticks. (again! please look at Tokyo date report #1: Yurakucho boy)

As the food was getting served, our conversation flew from his work (which is usually the first thing Japanese men want to talk about), his tennis lesson, manga books and PS games. Luckily, I am quite knowledgeable regarding manga books and games Japanese men like, thanks to otaku friends I had back in the college in the US. So we talked a lot about which manga is interesting, what games are good, and we talked about Hollywood making movies based on Japanese manga, like Dragon balls and Death Notes.

It was around then I started to realize he has developed some rash on his neck, from the 1 glass of beer he had drunk. At the time, I had already finished my 2nd glass of beer and was wondering if it would be polite for me to order another one… So I decided to say, “You know, you have developed some rash on your neck, are you ok?” and he told me “yeah, I’m kind of not handling alchol so well today, I’ve had horrible hangover.” and since it was Saturday night, “Oh, you must had crazy Friday night!” and to my surprise, he say “oh no, I was staying home lastnight, I had the hangover 2 weeks ago, not yesterday! you silly!” …. and I lost my guts to order my 3rd beer or to tell him that I’ve had a crazy Friday night and had woken up with horrible hangover myself lol

But it was during the walk to the next cafe that I decided that I do indeed need a drink, and perhaps a smoke. For the whole entire 3 min walk, he kept saying how cold he is, jumping up and down, and running into stores here and there to escape the blowing wind. Let me remind you once again, this is in Tokyo and we have 35°F even in the February night. Even if it is cold, shouldn’t it be the other way around? Shouldn’t he be asking me if I’m cold? Shouldn’t he be putting his arm around my shoulder to keep me warm?

The date was going down the hill from here on. He had a tea, and I had a cocktail, and he talked about movies, manga, and games and I listened with a smile on… until he put his head on my shoulder and said “I get so sleepy when I drink, I wish I could just sleep here….” So… that’s why I concluded this night “Chivalry is DEAD in Tokyo”

Review:

Coming from a country side of Japan, and having 2 older sisters to babysit him, his attitude was rather meek and docile throughout the date. If anything, he made me feel like a man… He kept whining about the winter weather and how cold it is, he wanted to take a cab to go to a bar nearby, he gets all red after 1 beer, he doesn’t smoke, his legs are skinner than mine, he gets sleepy after 1 drink and he tells me that with his head on my shoulder… uggggh

Japanese men don’t even try to impress women on dates. Though there are so many rules out there for women to follow to comfortably welcome men into their lives, men don’t even try to woo a woman. At least, be a man, when you go on a date, then I should have some respect for them. Am I being too harsh?

mhnewchivalry_lrg

Continued from Gokon report #2: gokon by the book

Romance meter: 12%
Conclusion: Though the overall date was not so bad, with mediocre food and mediocre polite conversation, I was mostly annoyed by how the boy could not talk with eye contact. His lack of confidence and attitude did not motivate me to see him again.

Genre: dinner date
Show time: February 17th 7:30 pm
Running time: 120 min
MPAA rating: PG
Cast: me and Yurakucho boy

Synopsis:
“Yurakucho boy” was one of the participants of the Friday night gokon from 2 weeks ago. Since our workplaces are just one station away, and our birthdates are just one day away, our conversation flourished as we absorbed more alcohol. We parted with casual promise to have a lunch in the future ,and  after several exchange of text messages, the Yurakucho boy asked me out for dinner at a thai restaurant.

I arrived 5 min late and was surprised to see that he was a little shorter than me with my heels, but I politely talked about the cold weather of Tokyo in February. We started the dinner with beer and his back pain and  after we decided on the appetizer, we gave a polite little toast with him looking at the chopsticks. (ugh, I don’t like men who don’t give eye contact while giving toast)

I had decided not to smoke for the date, but as our conversation went on and on about his work, his guitar practice, his back pain, his work, his weekend snowboard trip that gave him more back pain, then his work again, then his family, then his back pain, then his favorite alcohol… it was a time for me to have my cigarette.
After he was done talking about all aspects of his life, and I had started to feel full, with thai food and his story, it was time to go because he could no longer sit because of his back pain. I followed the rule and offered to split the bill and he told me to pay a little less than half of the bill. We parted in the station politely, but I could not be polite enough to say “see you soon”

Review:
I had learned before the date, as I wrote in Dos and Don’ts of the first date, that I should ask questions and listen to him. I followed the rule with an expectation that he would eventually ask some questions too. But he did not, he just loved talking about himself so much that it seemed he does not even realized that I was listening, looking at him in the eyes. I think the date was over when he made the toast without eye contact. As the French and the Germans say “taost with eye contact, else it’s seven years of bad sex”… I think it will be seven years of no sex for this poor boy.

Another thing was that he kept complaining about his backache throughout the dinner. It seemed that the alcohol had worsen the back pain and worsen his redness of his face, and he only had 2 drinks! “It’s because of my age, I am 30 years old, already a granpa” was the killer line that really killed my interest in this poor little grandpa.

I just wanna wish that he finds a nice masseuse!koshi


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What is Tokyo Meet Market?

From the Western perspective, what goes on in the Japanese dating scene is really different and interesting! In this shy nation of Japan, meeting new people is almost institutionalized, dating and romance is littered with conventions that protect people from social awkwardness. What are dating conventions and rules in Japan? How do the shy Japanese people meet new people, develop affection, and express their passion? As I research and answer these question, I will write a real time report of what's going on in the Tokyo dating scene, or the "Tokyo Meet Market" here in this blog. I hope you enjoy my blog and a trip around Tokyo Meet Market with me!

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