Welcome to Tokyo Meet Market

Nomikai report #6:$150k salary or true love

Posted on: March 5, 2009

Romance meter: 23%
Conclusion: What was different from a gokon is that the number of male and female participants were not balanced, and one of the male participant was engaged. But I much prefer nomikai to gokon, it’s much more relaxed and I felt comfortable (may be from too many cocktails)

Genre: drink in a dark posh bar in a basement of Nishi-azabu
Show time: March 4th
Running time: 80 min
MPAA rating: R (just because the bar was playing DVD of Sex and The City with Japanese subtitle which made Sex and The City look like a porn. Japanese language is not very attractive when it comes to talking about sex)

Guys team: 2 guys including, Mr.CEO, and Mr.Player
Girls team: 3 girls including myself

Synopsis:

My friend and I joined this little nomikai in a cute little bar. After we order our drink of choice, my friend introduced me to her friends: Mr.CEO soon to be married in the summer, his ex-girl friend, and Mr.Player, whose first words to me, ofcourse, was “Have we met somehwhere? I can swear we met somewhere before!” haha. We exchanged business cards, and Mr.CEO actually gave me 4 business cards, he either REALLY wants me to contact him, or he REALLY wants to show off his status in the society, or both. After about an hour, I was ready to go home, I was tipsy from the cocktails and sick from the conversation.

We talked about music, movies, and tokyo life, but the main topic of the conversation is konkatsu (marriage hunting) and I absolutely have to write down some of the dialogues from this conversation.

Diaglogue 1: Lecture on konkatsu

Since Mr.CEO has just got engaged, the main topic was of course, konkatsu (marriage hunting). Who is the perfect person for marriage? I think he also wanted to discuss his opinion on this topic, since his ex-girlfriend has just started dating with a really nice, handsome, honest guy, who happen to live in a country side and works for his father’s local restaurant. Being such a nice guy that he is, Mr.CEO wanted to lecture his ex-girlfriend that she has to marry someone with status, financial stability, and wealth,… well, just like him… to be happily ever after (in Japan)

“Marriage, is not continuation from love, marriage and love are totally different things. My fiance and I got engaged based on this rational decision making” Mr. CEO said and everyone, except for me, nodded.

“Love is just lust, but marriage is reality and you gotta live with your choice for the rest of your life. And the reality is, you need money, wealth, and status,” Mr.CEO says, sipping his whiskey and lighting a cigarette.

“From what I see, no man is good enough for marriage unless he earns at least $150k a year. I mean, think about it, you need at least $150k a year to have a decent life… oh, by the way, I’m making about that much now… may be a little more.”

No need to comment on his salary, but I couldn’t help to say “well, I still think marriage should be defined around love and commitment to be really happy! I mean, what’s a life without love?” to which Mr.CEO reples, “Ok, let’s put it this way. Would you want to live with a loving husband who tells you “I love you” everyday, in a tiny apartment with $50k salary, or would you want to live with a husband who calls you “pig” but in a large apartment with $150k salary? The answer is so simple, isn’t it?” he sips his whisky and the others nod to his question. “Yeah, it’s simple, of course I prefer the loving husband who loves me, what kind of life is it to have all the materialistic things you have, but to be called ‘pig’ by your husband!!”

“awww, you are still young. When you are about my age you will see. Men like us, we can make women happy in a different ways even without love. You would know what men like us are worth, when you are given a nice big apartment, security, and stability.” …. “How old are you?” was the only thing I wanted to ask him, I was not a bit interested in his konkatsu lecture anymore. Oh, he was 28 years old.

Results:

free drinks and hangover next morning.

The 2 men paid for the bill saying “Women shouldn’t be paying for her drink” and they offered to even pay for my cab home, but I declined the offer, and chose to walk home with my ipod, singing…

All the women who are independent
Throw your hands up at me
All the honeys who makin’ money
Throw your hands up at me
All the mommas who profit dollas
Throw your hands up at me
All the ladies who truly feel me
Throw your hands up at me

– Independent woman, Destiny’s Child

busylady


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2 Responses to "Nomikai report #6:$150k salary or true love"

Very Intresting Post,
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I stumbled across your blog by accident today, but everything you’ve written about is so interesting! I hope you continue to write about your experiences in Japan.

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What is Tokyo Meet Market?

From the Western perspective, what goes on in the Japanese dating scene is really different and interesting! In this shy nation of Japan, meeting new people is almost institutionalized, dating and romance is littered with conventions that protect people from social awkwardness. What are dating conventions and rules in Japan? How do the shy Japanese people meet new people, develop affection, and express their passion? As I research and answer these question, I will write a real time report of what's going on in the Tokyo dating scene, or the "Tokyo Meet Market" here in this blog. I hope you enjoy my blog and a trip around Tokyo Meet Market with me!

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