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Gokon rule 104: how to get there how to sit where?

Posted on: February 23, 2009

Rule #1: Meet at the venue of the gokon

The ideal place to select for meeting would be the venue of the gokon, usually a restaurant. Meeting at a station could cause confusion among the participants since Japanese metro stations usually have more than 3-4 exists for the same station. Waiting outside the station in summer or winter is not nice, especially for women.

Rule #2: Don’t be late

Since the whole point of gokon is to gather equal number of men and women interested in meeting eachother, things start to go wrong when people arrive late. as you can see in gokon report #4: tardiness as gokon’s bad omen.

Rule #3: Last minuite cancellation should be avoided

If there is any last minuite cancellation, the organizer usually have to call all of their girl friends/guy friends to look for a replacement and this creates all sorts of troubles. The last one invited for replacements are usually not ready for gokon and often feel uneasy to be the replacement. If you know you have to cancel the gokon or will arrive late due to some emergency, make sure you call in for cancellation at least 3 hrs before the gokon.

Rule #4: Male members and female members setup different preliminary meeting point and time to create a favorable start of the gokon

It is best recommended for the male members to plan together to arrive 5-10 min before the meeting in the selected restaurant. The female members usually gather 5 min before the meeting in a station or cafe near the selected restaurant so they can all arrive to the venue together, in a fashionably late manner (1-2 min after the appointed time) And with this strategy, women can avoid the awkward situation of arriving alone to the group of male participants waiting already. (Although with the right amount of confidence and attitude, she may use this situation to her advantage by start getting to know the male participants before the arrival of the other female members!)

Rule #5: Put on your best smile and quickly build strategy on your seating area

Finally, the female team and the male team come together in the gokon venue. Put on your best smile, and as you get ready to sit, casually talk about weather and comment on the atmosphere of the restaurant, WHILE you build strategy on your seating area. Although most people would move around later in the gokon, you will be spending considerable amount of time with the people you first sit close by. It is absolutely necessary to look around the opposite sex members and instintively determine who you are most interested in. No need to be aggressive, but casually grab a seat where you think you would be most comfortable with. There are several seating patters typically used in gokon as below.

Seating patters in gokon:

1. face to face: women sit in a row and men sit in a row faceing eachother

2. sandwich: man, woman, man, woman, sit infront of woman, man, woman, man so you are surrounded by the opposite sex vertically and horizontally

3. grouping: all men sit together in one side of the table, all women sit together in one side of the table

The seating patterns are usually determined by the male organizer at the point of arrival. But personally I prefer the pattern 1 which gives women to talk freely among themselves and gives women chance to observe the male interaction. The short coming of pattern 1 is that it limits the number of men to interact with, it is most natural to converse with the male who is sitting in front of you, and this is where your initial seating strategy becomes important.


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What is Tokyo Meet Market?

From the Western perspective, what goes on in the Japanese dating scene is really different and interesting! In this shy nation of Japan, meeting new people is almost institutionalized, dating and romance is littered with conventions that protect people from social awkwardness. What are dating conventions and rules in Japan? How do the shy Japanese people meet new people, develop affection, and express their passion? As I research and answer these question, I will write a real time report of what's going on in the Tokyo dating scene, or the "Tokyo Meet Market" here in this blog. I hope you enjoy my blog and a trip around Tokyo Meet Market with me!

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