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Gokon report #4: tardiness as gokon’s bad omen

Posted on: February 21, 2009

Romance meter: 12%
Conclusion: Don’t go to gokon when you have a bad premonition about it. If the male organizer of the gokon is not coming because he lost his wallet or if none of the male members are showing up after 20 min, LEAVE! Trust your instincts and ditch the guys. It will save your precious time and money to be wasted away.

Genre: Dinner and bottles of wine
Show time: February 20th 9pm
Running time: 180 min
MPAA rating: G

Guys team: 3 guys including, Mr.Divorcée, Mr.ChubbuHubby, Mr.Chef who all work for the same company
Girls team: 4 girls including myself


The night began with a bad omen. A text message from the male organizer that they are all going to be late. The reason of the tardiness was that he had lost his wallet, and his fellow colleagues ,the other participants of the gokon, are helping him look for the wallet. This was not the first time for my friend, the female organizer of the gokon, to have a guy tell her that he would be late because the wallet is lost. In the past 6 months, she had 3 guys tell the same “lost wallet story” to her and all of the event involving them turned out badly. This was a bad omen!

The gokon finally began without the poor man who lost his wallet, 40min passed the initial time appointed for meeting. The male team consisted of three accountants in the 30’s, who seemed a little uneasy in the posh steakhouse in the trendy night scene of tokyo, and seemed to know little about food or wine. So the girls got to decide what to eat and what wine to drink. I even had the priviledges to choose all 3 bottles of the wine, and to have a sip of each, before serving the whole table. So basically, the 20-something girls team had the control over what goes on over the dinner table: the food, wine, conversation topics, desert, and all.

And though we were impressed by the atmosphere of the steak house and great wine collectionthey had, when it comes to the main dish of the gokon, meeting the eligible bachelors, our premonition proved to be true. The three tired accountants in the 30’s on a Friday night were not enough to handle the four ladies in their youthful 20’s. As Mr.Divorcée had put it, “We are all granpas in our 30’s, we no longer have the energy”….


I have now attended 4 gokon since I entered the Tokyo Meet Market, and at this point, I have 50% rate of success… success meaning I have actually met someone to go on another date with. And these 2 successful gokon began with the guys waiting for the girls’ arrival. The other 2 gokon that were less successful, with no participants exchangin contact information, began with the unfashionably tardy arrival of the male participants.

I have developed a hypothesis that tardiness of the participants to gokon has a large impact on how the gokon itself goes. The problem is, when you arrive  late you’re really telling other participants subconsciously that you don’t really care about his or her time… or that you don:t really care about them! The tardiness signify everything from lack of excitement for the gokon, lack of enthusiasm to meet people, lack of motivation to find a partner, lack of respect for other’s time. It’s bad bad bad! Tardiness is gokons bad omen!datea


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What is Tokyo Meet Market?

From the Western perspective, what goes on in the Japanese dating scene is really different and interesting! In this shy nation of Japan, meeting new people is almost institutionalized, dating and romance is littered with conventions that protect people from social awkwardness. What are dating conventions and rules in Japan? How do the shy Japanese people meet new people, develop affection, and express their passion? As I research and answer these question, I will write a real time report of what's going on in the Tokyo dating scene, or the "Tokyo Meet Market" here in this blog. I hope you enjoy my blog and a trip around Tokyo Meet Market with me!

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